Everybody knows that sometimes you’ve got to let go of things that don’t belong in your life any more.
I was asked for advice about HOW to let go on Facebook tonight…I love questions because they draw wisdom out of me that I didn’t always know I had (thanks, Pamela)!
I have A LOT of experience in letting go…from early as a kid to just this afternoon, I have practiced this art (and science) many times, over and over and over. And I have identified some consistent stages that come with the Letting Go Process.
How to Let Go:
- Get clarity on why you are letting something/someone go. Is it because it is a negative influence, such as a drain on your energy? Toxic to you, even? Or maybe not quite so dramatic, more like you’re just not that into it anymore? Good to be clear. This is so you can remind yourself later when you get tempted to go back to who/whatever it is.
- State the intention to let go clearly to those that will be affected, as well as to the universe. This gets YOU lined up and does the correct and respectful thing of not “disappearing” without communicating your intentions first. Of course, in an abusive situation, this step may not be applicable.
- Walk away. Really. Truly. Do not look back. Letting go means you are DONE with it. Make that committment within yourself that you made this decision for your own well being, and stick to it.
- Grieve. Process. Even lovely things that go away still are a LOSS. We process loss in lots of different ways, but they all are underscored by grieving, which is a natural response to loss. Allow yourself to feel the loss, express the feelings, do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
- It is rare, but sometimes the act of walking away from something with complete conviction will actually force the thing you left to improve and come around again in your life asking for a second chance. If so, go back to step 1. Has it really changed? Feel it in your body. Does it feel different? Is there a possibility it could work out? Are you willing to risk it of it doesn’t?
I find that these are steps I consistently go through when I let go in my life. I find that the more intentionally I do them, the more it makes room for the next better thing to show up in your life!
Does it get any easier to let go? Mmmm, maybe. It still hurts, it is still a loss, but with repetition at least I know the stages, and seem to move through them a little faster. I find that, with maturity, I am learning how to go through these steps with greater ease, and less hesitation.
And the reward? FREEDOM from something that was dragging you down. The relief (and the return of your life energy) is hard to ignore!