4/19/13, DAY 26 – PATIENCE.

Patience is something that I’ve always had a slight deficiency of, and now is the time to learn more about it.

While 99% of me is still surprised that I’ve recovered as much as I have as quickly as I have, there’s that one percent that is impatient about getting back to being able to do everything that I used to do.  That one percent is fed by the fact that I’m cognitively back to normal; even though my brain is still re-regulating my body, I still feel completely normal and like I’m able to do many things that I previously did regularly.

Back at the inpatient rehab hospital, my favorite doctor, Dr. Marerro, made very clear that the most difficult part of my recovery process would most likely be staying patient so as not to overexert myself and inhibit the healing process.  When he told me that, I knew that what he was saying was most definitely going to be true, and I attempted to mentally steel myself for the oncoming impatience.

Now that I’m in the heart of it, I’m so glad to have been preparing for it from the start.  I’m completely committed to doing what’s best for my recovery, whether it’s waiting to do things, or giving them up completely.  No matter what it entails, my new lease on life comes first on my priority list.

Notes From Mom’s “Jess Recovery Journal”

I can’t believe how quickly Jess is recovering; his cognitive capacity is at 100% and his physical capacity is also very, very close to that.  We see no balance impairments, no strength impairments, no impairments at all in terms of how a human being functions.  Where the real work lies is in his being patient while his brain re-regulates his autonomic systems.  The shock to his brain translated to a re-wiring kind of opportunity, a chance to reset his new normal to something that is beneficial and life affirming to him.

Jess Hugs Himself

Jess Hugs Himself, 2006, photo by Licia Berry

The thing he is facing is the pattern of risky behavior that is NOT life-affirming, such as skateboarding without a helmet.  He is getting an amazing moment in his life to pattern differently, as we all can when we decide to make new choices in our lives.  The neural pathways that formerly built this pattern for him are being destroyed, and new neural pathways made that include gentleness towards self, love and care of his precious self, tenderly holding himself as if he were a baby.  This is the kind of patterning that he is being asked to create right now as he “reboots” and is born anew.

Important Links:

Jess’ Amazing Story, starting at Day 1

Jess Medical Expense fund created by a friend (THANK YOU JUDEE); we’re at 70%!


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